But, am I satisfied? No.
Sure, I'm proud of my successes. Really I consider it a huge victory that I'm bringing myself to a gym, but I'm not satisfied. I'm ready to do better. To BE better.
Of course I'm excited by the personal changes that I see, but I don't want to be satisfied because there is much more that I can do, more work I can put in, and I think if I ever find myself satisfied then I'll be complacent. At least in my mind I'm telling myself that it is a great accomplishment, but now let's make them non-girly push-ups!
A conversation I had with my dad this morning got me thinking about all this.
I have a really great relationship with my parents, really my whole family is close. Here is one of my favorite pictures of me with my dad at my brother's wedding a few years ago:
It isn't the best picture of me, but it is one of the better pictures I have with my dad. I know, we look a lot alike. Out of all my siblings I look the most like him. No denying paternity there, lol! Anyway, we also have a similar personality, which can lead to some clashes, but overall I'm still his little princess, being his first daughter. Hmm, well maybe not "little."
I'm very fortunate that I got my parents. Really, they are amazing people. I credit them with so much. Thinking of my dad, he works very hard and has a demanding job, but he never missed a single sporting event I, or my 3 siblings, EVER had. Also, he emailed me every night while I lived away, either across the state or abroad. I know, it sounds a little crazy maybe. Maybe it is a girl thing, but I tend to call my mom on the phone more. When I have an "emergency" or need support, I call my mom. It is just how it is. So when I've been far away he would just send me an email, literally every day, letting me know what was going on. Just a short note to say "I love you" and fill me in on whatever I was missing. They always included a note that I didn't need to reply, and really I should have replied to more, but I read every single one. But, I don't know how many dads would take the time to do that.
Growing up he was always overweight. I didn't know him any other way. At times there was concern, because with being overweight we all know there are health risks, but he was always "ok." He joined in on diets that I'd do with my mom and all 3 of us never had success. Until last February that is!
Last year my dad decided he was going to join Weight Watchers for Men online. Now, a year later, he has lost about 100 pounds. I know, amazing. Here is a picture of him from a few weeks ago while he was on vacation:
He really set the ball in motion for my whole family to get on board and finally, once and for all, lose the weight.
So, when I was talking to him this morning we were talking about what his goal was. Did he aim to lose 100 pounds? What did he have in mind? He told me that he wanted to reach x weight and he thought he would be happy there, satisfied. But, he found when he got to that weight he thought, I can do more! And he has, by a lot. It makes me feel relieved because before I worried for his health and now he is in better shape than me!
My dad's story is inspirational to me because I also have so much weight to lose. At the beginning when you tell yourself you have 100+ pounds it seems like so much. But, when you make mini goals it seems like each time you hit that goal you have that extra motivation to get to the next. Then you look and realize you've lost that 5 pounds 20 times and are down 100 pounds.
We all can do it. I won't be satisfied with my mini goals, I'll get to the ultimate goal, in time. I know it.
What keeps you going? What is your biggest motivation?