Why I walked in the door...

I'm completely blown away by the fact that my niece will be 4 years old next week. I'm not a mother yet and she is my first niece and goddaughter. She is the smartest, sweetest little girl and I tell people that she is my BFF. I love spending time with her and sometimes it is difficult to remember life before her in it. It is just crazy to me that she is almost 4 already!

I remember the day my brother and sister-in-law shared that they were expecting. I was so excited! As soon as they found out she was a girl I went shopping with my sister-in-law and we picked out all these adorable baby girl clothes! It really was such an exciting time waiting for her to arrive.

During that time, my mother decided that she wanted to lose weight. She was going to be a grandmother for the first time and that was big motivation to get fit. I felt similarly thinking I want to be able to run around with all my future nieces and nephews and be healthy and all that jazz. Together we joined Weight Watchers and attended meetings. I know I lost a few pounds and at the time it seemed like we had gone a long time, but looking back we didn't finish a whole Weight Watcher's booklet. The weigh in booklets you get are for 16 weeks. That means that we didn't even commit for 4 months.

Sometimes I feel ashamed of all my past weight loss failures. I joined Weight Watchers for the first time while I was a Freshman in high school. I think I lost like 25 pounds or something, but again I didn't last long. I told myself I'd lose the weight before college and that never happened. Instead I gained at college, as many do. Then, I joined before my niece was born. That was 4 years ago! In between those experiences I tried other various diets. Each time I did experience weight loss, but in the end I'd fall off the wagon.

It makes me sad that the motivation of going to college, or more importantly the growth of my family, wasn't enough to have my brain click and realize that it isn't a "I want to lose weight thing" it is a "I NEED to lose weight thing."

My weight gain reached its peak this past summer. In June I graduated from law school. During the 3 years of law school I just packed on the pounds. The suit I bought my first year didn't button in my last. It was obvious that I was gaining weight, but I was stressed, tired, overwhelmed. . . every other excuse and I didn't change. Sitting all day in class and then studying all night isn't the best scenario for weight loss. After graduating, I had a grueling 2 months of studying for the Bar Exam. During that time it seemed like I was living off Diet Coke and restaurant take-outs. Bad news.

The Bar Exam was at the end of July and then I almost immediately went on vacation with my family. Nothing like going to the beach and putting on a bathing suit to have reality slap you in the face!

It was time. My sister and I decided that we needed to do something. We decided that when I returned from vacation that we would join Weight Watchers. My dad actually started this all by trying the Weight Watchers for Men online last February. I watched him make a lot of great changes, but while I was in school I was just too stressed/busy/overwhelmed to focus on anything new. And actually when you are studying for the Bar Exam we were told to not make any lifestyle changes. They even said if you want to quit smoking or go on a diet do it after the exam! It is just one of those things that is huge and actually probably the most stressful experience of my life!

law school graduation

So, at the end of the Summer I walked in the door of the local Weight Watchers. I did it because I am finally so tired and frustrated with what I've become. I'm tired of always being the fat girl. I don't want my weight to be the first thing people notice when they meet me. I don't want to be the funny, fat girl anymore. I'm SO much more than that! I didn't walk in the door of that first meeting to look good for some event, for being something different for someone else. . . I walked through the door for me. You have to need the change yourself is what I'm learning and I'm ready!

It has been far from easy. My weight loss seems slow going and I've had ups and downs, but I finished not only my first full Weight Watcher's booklet, I'm getting close to finishing the second. What is different this time is that I don't have doubts that I won't be successful. It may take a really long time, but I will get there. I can't quit this time. I need to do this, once and for all, for me!

Oh and my whole family is doing pretty well! With my 35 pound weight loss to date my immediate family has lost a total of approximately 225 pounds!!! Seriously, we've lost an obese person. Kind of sad that we got to that point, but amazing that we are making a serious change! And you can too!

What made you decide to lose the weight? If you've dieted in the past, what is different this time?