Contrary to the post title, I have not weighed in. Each Sunday I normally attend a Weight Watcher's meeting where I get my official weight for the week and, so far, by each Monday I've had a post saying my gain/loss and what my plans are for the week ahead. But, this week I didn't go to my meeting.
I didn't go this week not because of a perceived gain, my last check at my home scale on Saturday I was actually down, but this weekend has been very hectic and busy. Also, I just haven't been in a good place mentally.
Have you ever felt that if you saw that gain that you might spiral out of control? That is sort of how I've felt. This whole week I've been trying to fight the urge to eat badly. So far while on Weight Watchers I haven't really had an issue sticking to my points or allowing for the occasional splurge, but this week was different. I've noticed that I've been feeling very stressed this past week, for a number of reasons, and in return I've wanted to eat everything in sight.
It would be easy for me to give you the loss total that I saw on Saturday and walk away from this post. Leave it all sunshine and rainbows and give the impression that every week is wonderful, but that isn't real life. With this blog I've committed to being honest with myself. I've disclosed my biggest gains and losses. To have posted the unofficial loss seen on my scale would be a lie of omission perhaps. Because the truth is I saw the loss in the morning but stressed and anxious about many things in my life I went out to lunch. At lunch I had a healthy grilled chicken an on plan meal. As the day progressed I felt that calling to "cheat.' During the day I decided that I wasn't going to weigh in. Then I went out and had a cheeseburger for dinner, yes sue me.
I can't say that my stress disappeared after my food indiscretions, it didn't, but I just felt like I needed a break. I didn't want to see the scale. I didn't want to think about numbers, calories, points. . . .
I enjoyed my dinner. Then I went to see a musical and I had a good time. Then I slept in. I missed my meeting, the first meeting I've missed in months. Then I celebrated my niece's birthday with pizza and a cupcake. It appeared that I lost all willpower. My only accomplishment for the weekend was not giving into the call of Diet Coke, which I now haven't had in almost 3 months.
The weekend hiatus is not ideal. At first I felt annoyed with myself. It would appear that I've made such little progress by allowing myself to go off the deep end, but part of me feels like I needed to. With anything in life, what matters most is what you've learned from mistakes.
What I've learned is that I need to recommit. It is one thing to say things and another to actually do. I am making such progress on the fitness end. I do feel motivated by all the things I never could have imagined I'd be able to do, but I need to work more again now on my food plans.
I believe I have changed, despite a bad weekend. I'm ready to keep changing. I'm ready to put whatever negative thoughts that have held me back this past week away and to somehow find it in me to get back to that highly motivated state. I know I can. I'm happy with myself and that is all that matters.
And really, how could I not be happy? Besides eating, I did have a great weekend! The Pens even won!
|Pic from Sunday night's game I attended. The Pens beat the Tampa Bay Lightening 5-3!|
How did you do this week?