A Letter to My Future Self

I finally moved! Of course it poured the entire time we loaded and unloaded the truck, but I've now officially spent my first night in the new house! It is going to take me awhile to organize this mess though. Due to scheduling and we needed my brother's help with some of the heavy stuff so we had to move on a week night. So with moving so late at night I really haven't touched much of anything. But, I did skim through one of my bags I used a lot this fall and I found $20, woohoo! I just love when that happens! But, I also found a letter I wrote to myself that I completely forgot about!

When I first joined Weight Watchers and I was feeling super motivated it was recommended that in a time of a motivational high you should write a letter to yourself to read when you are in a low point to remind yourself of why you are here.

I'm sad to say that I hadn't been listening to my own advice. Interesting reading through my old letter that I even mentioned airplane seat belts and yet last weekend I went through the same thing again.

Well, here is what I wrote back in November:

Dear future ktj, 

You can do this! That warning on all the success stories you read that say "results not typical" doesn't apply to you. Small losses at a time and you will eventually reach your goal. Don't focus on how long it is taking because you are changing your life and when you hit goal you will still have to keep up what you are doing. 

That reese's cup, diet coke, large fries. . . so not worth it! 

Imagine a day when you can go to the mall and walk into any store and find something that fits. Imagine weating a bathing suit on the beach and not feeling horrible about yourself. Imagine going to Kennywood and actually riding the rides again and hey you never know maybe you'll make it to Disney. Imagine not having to worry about the seatbelt fitting on a flight. . . imagine all of that and so much more! Someday it will happen!  

Just hold on. You've come so far. Struggling with following the program? Tell someone you need help. Keep going to meetings. Go back to the basics like it is week 1. Not exercising? Download a new song and get on that elliptical and run! No excuses! 

Life will not be better if you stop. Life will only get better if you suck it up and get yourself back on track.  

<3 the old me

A relatively short note that I wrote down, but I'm glad I did. I had been on a motivational low for awhile, but I feel it coming back. The amount that I want this, that I want to change has been on the rise again. I'm determined to get myself out of my longterm funk.

I remember in December looking at food all the time and saying "it's not worth it." I strayed from that and I'm seeing how much of a difference that made. I'm so proud of myself that I'm not giving up. I'm here for the long haul!

I debated about sharing my little note, because it is a little corny, but for me it was good to think about imaging the things that could be. What are you looking forward to the most once you lose the weight?

Non-Scale Victories #18

Too many of us base our success just on the number we see on the scale, but there is so much more to it! All the little changes we make are helping us make a healthier lifestyle. Whether you lost weight this week or not, let's celebrate your non-scale victories! So whether you said no to that birthday cake in the office, ran a 5k, or tracked your food every day this week. . . it is time to celebrate! 

This week Ashlee from Iseminger Chronicles is now also co-hosting! So make sure you stop by and say hi!

If you've been following along then you know I haven't been doing spectacular on the weight loss journey recently. I acknowledge it and I'm working on it and doing well this week! I've been tracking my food, walking much more, and I am feeling more motivated again. 

I've been frustrated lately and keep telling myself that once the I'm moved in, once I'm done with that busy week at work, once . . . fill in the blank I'll be fully committed again. Life will always be chaotic and there will always be something going on. I've realized for me that I really need to work on dealing with these things without using food as a coping mechanism. 

Don't get me wrong, I think I've made some great progress so far, but I really want to do this and I know I can do it, no matter how long it takes and I'm willing to work on me to get to that point.

So, you may be asking what my non-scale victory is and where I've been going with this post. Well this past weekend I flew down to Charlotte to attend Bloggy Boot Camp and I cannot even describe how anxious I was to fly. I'm not afraid of heights or anything. What I don't enjoy is wondering if that seatbelt is going to fasten. 

Awhile ago I wrote a post about worrying about worrying about being too fat to fly after that Kevin James story a few years ago. Now, I've actually never had a problem before, but I worry about it. The days leading up to my flight I was trying to remember what size pants I wore the last time I flew. I was trying to compare what size I was then to where I am now. My mind was playing through horror stories of being asked to leave in front of everyone because the seatbelt wouldn't work. 

To make matters worse, my first flight was overbooked and of course I was the lucky passenger who got bumped from the flight. They picked me because there was a flight going to Charlotte that I'd be able to make, but they assigned me to an exit row seat. Now, through my research trying to figure out if my size was ok or if I'd need an extender I found that if you sit in an exit row you cannot use an extender. Knowing this information I tried to ask if I could have a seat other than the exit row because the last thing I wanted was to get on the plane, realize I don't fit, and then have to be reassigned there. 

Basically I learned that if you ask to not be in an exit row, they pretty much can't put your there because they need people willing to handle the emergency procedures. So the ticketing agent was able to fix that and I felt a little relieved. 

Long story short, when I got on the plane I had no problem. I didn't need an extender. In fact I had room to spare! I think I have to credit this to the working out I've done. Because while I haven't lost much weight on the scale, I have been losing inches!

However, I never want to have to go through that again. There is nothing like having that anxiety about your size to really make you think why you do this to yourself time and time again. Why do I put myself through so much stress? I don't want to experience worrying about if a seatbelt is going to fit again. It isn't worth it. No food in the world is worth that. None. 

My next flight is in September and I'm committing to being a size smaller by then! 

What is your Non-Scale Victory for the Week? 

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Online Dating - The First Date

So, I took the plunge into online dating. I joined a site, wrote a profile, and crossed my fingers (I guess). Well, I did more than that too. After sharing my experience of having bridesmaid blues with you all I really appreciated the comments and accept that I need to learn to be patient when it comes to these things. I also don't need to sit back and just wait, I can and have been making the first step in contacting people or sending winks/smiles (whatever those things are).

Well, I was excited to be contacted by a man who seemed genuinely nice. We exchanged messages, talked on the phone, and texted for almost 2 weeks. Then he asked me if I wanted to get together. Things looked pretty promising.

I agreed to the meeting, well really a first date. We planned something pretty low key. We both were from suburbs on the opposite side of Pittsburgh so we agreed to meet in Pittsburgh as a half-way point. He seemed like a legitimate and nice guy, but the online world can be a little sketchy. You really do never know with people, but I did take some recommended precautions. I read many of the suggestions on the various dating sites and formed my own little list of what was important to me.

Online dating: what you should do before a first date-

• Know the person's first and last name, then google them. Sure, yeah that is a little stalkerish, but you want to make sure someone is legitimate. 
• Give a friend/family member the person's name and tell your friend/family member when and where you are meeting said person. 
• Meet at a public place.
• Take your own transportation, don't drive with the person you've just met.
• Talk to the person on the phone before meeting. This one probably isn't a necessity, but nice to know they can carry on a conversation beforehand. 

Maybe there is more, but for this first date that is what I did. 

After having some great conversations I was really excited when he asked me out on the date. We agreed to meet at a little coffee shop and I was very nervous going. However, I didn't have my hopes up, but I was really hoping it went well after some of our great conversations on the phone. 

When I got to the coffee shop he was already there. Then we met shaking hands. Yeah. That was my fault though. It is such a habit walking into the room, but he kind of went for a hug and I shook his hand. Real smooth. It was fine though and we had a great conversation. We actually sat at the coffee shop for about 2 1/2 hours. Things were going well and he asked me if I'd be interested in grabbing dinner with him. I was enjoying myself so I agreed.

Problem was that the area we were in was way packed. Most of the restaurants had huge (like 1.5 hour) wait times. So we agreed to walk around a bit and wander until we found a place. We came across this place neither of us had heard of and got a table. It wasn't until it was time to order that we realized it was essentially a buffet. Ok, let's just say that for an overweight girl a buffet situation isn't ideal on a first date. Maybe for some people it is fine, but I'm too self-conscious about going up and feeling like I'm loading up my plate. And I'm sure no one is really watching me, but in my mind I'm always thinking people are judging or wondering why the "fat girl" is getting more food and stuff like that. Ok, so maybe I have problems. But being nervous and then having it be a buffet, it was just a little awkward. I could tell he felt awkward too though. 

Dinner was fine, the conversation was good and before I knew it I realized that this first date was about 4.5 hours long. Turns out we both parked at the same parking garage so we decided to walk back. I paid my ticket and then he did his and we went into the elevator and then immediately afterwards other people got on. So he ended up on one side and me on the other. 

The other people got off before our floors, but when we got to his floor it got awkward real fast! He made a comment that he would have taken me to a nicer restaurant, I said it was fine (which it totally was!) and then said "it was nice to meet you." Now apparently when you say that it sort of implies that it was nice meeting, but no thanks. Oops. Well, he leaned in for a hug and that was fine and as we go to hug he manages to step on both of my feet. Seriously, the 2 of us were just an awkward mess in an elevator. In a parking garage. To cap it all off I somehow managed to say again "it was nice to meet you."

So, we had good conversation. Things must have been going well if we talked that long and then extended the date to dinner, but then we got in that elevator. But honestly, when we both wished each other good luck via messages with me thanking him again for dinner I wasn't all that disappointed. I guess that is a good sign if I wasn't too upset that no second date was planned, right? 

In the end, my first date was ok. He was a really nice guy, but nothing came of it and that's fine. I'm pretty proud of myself that I put myself out there and got my feet wet into the world of online dating.

Well, that's my online dating update for now. I'm open to advice and suggestions! This dating stuff is tough work! Disney movies didn't prepare me for all this, haha!

Legally Blogging Series

The Legally Blogging idea was dreamed up by three ladies who all met in blog-land and instantly clicked. You could say it was love at first sight. The immediate connection stemmed from the one thing they had in common: Law. Obviously, as time went on, they discovered they had much more in common than just law, but that was a great starting point.

Here they are!

They decided to join forces and start a blogging series, to show that lawyers aren't always what you'd expect. The main goal of the series is to connect with other legal ladies out there and meet some great new people. Every week, the hope is to showcase a new person in the series.

Series so far:

Catherine - Part 1
Allison - Part 2
Jackie - Part 3
Jackie (City Girl...) - Part 4
Erica (To The Sea) - Part 5
Crystal (29 Rue House) - Part 6
Bridy (Brid's Journey) - Part 7
Josie (Straight No Chase) - Part 8
Jennifer (Come Rain or Come Shine) - Part 9

If you're interested in participating in the Legally Blogging Series, just send an email to Jackie: jjstoughton [AT] gmail [DOT] com.

We'd love to have you on board!

I'm excited to be posting in this series of Legally Blogging today! So, a little bit about me is that like Jackie I'm also a Pittsburgher! I was born and raised right outside the city and I absolutely love it here. I when to a University in Philly, but I found my way back to the Burgh for law school. I actually am a new attorney, I graduated from law school last year, took the July Bar Exam and thank goodness I passed on the first try!

See, don't I look official? I'm very happy that I'm finally done with school and working doing something that I enjoy.

So, on to the questions!

Why did you start blogging?

I started a blog on a whim, to be honest. One day I just sat down at the computer and decided I'd write a post. I just blog about my life and what is going on at the moment. At the moment I'm navigating life finally as a full fledged adult now that I'm done with school for good. And I'm trying to lose weight. While I was in law school all the studying and stress I definitely got to my highest weight ever. I've always been overweight, but after law school and the bar I was at my highest. I decided it was time for a change and started following Weight Watchers in August. After losing motivation and deciding I could use some support and accountability and started blogging. My weight loss has been slow, but I'm working on it. I've lost a total of 37.2 pounds so far and from graduation to now I can already see a difference! 

What do you like to do when you're not blogging?

I absolutely love to travel! I have a goal to visit all 7 continents by the time I'm 40 and I only have 3 left! I also love to spend time with my friends, go to concerts (next up is Of Monsters and Men, Fun, and Justin Timberlake), and I love movies. I'm also a bit of a nerd, if being a lawyer didn't give it away, and so I love to read as well! 

What do you find is the biggest misconception about lawyers?

Well, I see that this is a common answer, but I definitely think that the biggest misconception is that all lawyers are rich. That is definitely NOT the case. There is such a wide variety of legal positions that salary widely varies. 

Also I think a few lawyers give the rest of us a bad name, so to speak. I'm actually a 3rd generation lawyer and back when my grandfather was living and practicing lawyers were greatly respected as a profession. I feel like times have changed in that regard. Now I think some don't appreciate lawyers until they need one. Now, I'm not saying that it is the greatest profession or anything, but I think some have given it a bad reputation. 

Another big misconception is that all lawyers sue. Actually there are a lot of lawyers who have never filed a law suit. You can do so many things as a lawyer and there are so many options that not every lawyer you meet is practicing like the attorneys you see on TV. 

What is your favorite vacation that you've ever been on?

My favorite vacation is probably when I went to Fiji. I studied abroad in Australia and on the way home I stopped over at Fiji with a few friends. It was amazing! Paradise. 

So that's a little be about me! Thank you again to Allison, Catherine, and Jackie for asking me to participate!

Spring Training: 5k Challenge - The Home Stretch!

The goal of this challenge is to get moving. No matter how much or how little you can do you can participate. Linkup and share a fitness related post. If you've started walking, running, swimming. . .tell us how you've started to get moving! At the end of the challenge we will be running/walking a virtual 5k together on June 1st!!!

Well, we are in the home stretch of this challenge now! I can't believe it is the end of May already! It is amazing to me to see the progress everyone has had over these past weeks! I know I wish my progress was better to report, but I have been walking much more than running. I am trying to get a walk in each day during work for at least part of my lunch break. My PF was ok today and I got a decent amount of walking in with all the good weather. I still have a goal of running a 5k, but I'm proud that I know I'll be able to walk the whole 5k. 

I was talking with the instructor/trainer at the gym and told her about how I want to try running more. She knows about my issues with my foot currently and we have been focusing on things to not further injure it, but we are going to work more and more on the proper running technique. She even said she'd like to run/walk with me on the local trail. Hopefully we can make that happen because it is always nice when you have some with you to help push you and vice versa. I'm keeping this short as I will be linking up with the Legally Blogging Series today too, but I can't wait to read about your fitness progress this week! 

What had you moving this week?

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Bloggy Boot Camp - Charlotte 2013

Attending Bloggy Boot Camp in Charlotte was a great experience. If you are really enjoying blogging and thinking about possible opportunities to take things a step further then I highly recommend attending one of their conferences. 

One of the first things we were asked at the conference was: "What is your endgame?" To be honest, before this weekend I don't think I had one. When I sat at my computer in November and wrote my first post I had no idea that I'd keep up with this blog, that I'd find such a great community, that I would so enjoy sharing about my life. When I started blogging, not even 6 months ago, I had no clue where it would go. I started my blog because I felt that if I put my weight loss journey out there that I couldn't just quit as I've done so many times in the past. Also, I was looking for others in a similar stage of life or going through a similar weight loss struggle. I'm just writing about my life, my story, my experiences. I love the community I've found.

Your endgame could be anything from simply documenting a certain period of your life in print to monetizing and earning money or even writing a book! Whatever it is for you think about what your endgame is and work backwards in a sense. Think about what you should be doing now to get there. I started just documenting this period of my life, now I'm not 100% sure what my endgame is. I'm thinking about it a lot because I know I'm in limbo for the moment! 

Honestly, I made the decision to attend Bloggy Boot Camp because I wanted to meet other bloggers. I've interacted with so many people online and it is so nice to finally meet some people face-to-face! There are so many wonderful women that I met this weekend and I can't wait to share their blogs with you all (like some of the lovely ladies pictured- Emily @ Be Blessed, y'all and Rebekah @ All that Glitters and Ricci @ Ricci Explains it All). I've been very on the fence about monetizing fully lately, so mainly I wanted meet other bloggers, hear opinions, experiences, and remain open minded. 

The ticket was very affordable, about $100, and the hotel was so nice and very reasonably priced and then I lucked out and got a super saver for my flight. All in all it was an inexpensive trip and I think very worth it! I felt like I had a nice mini vacation! 

As I've mentioned, I was very naive when I started this blog. Of course you write for yourself, but I can't lie - I am intrigued as to how bloggers are able to earn money or work with companies. 

So, what did I take away form the conference? 

I am still reviewing everything myself, so I'm sure I will have tips to share for awhile, but if you want to grow your blog here are 5 to start with:

1. Focus on your content. First and foremost, your content is what is important. At the end of the day you need to produce something that someone wants to read, right?

2. Have a Facebook page. Am I the only one who missed this memo? Anyway, my blog did not have a facebook page, until this weekend! If you enjoy the blog, please go on over and "like" KTJ Weighing In on Facebook. Thanks!

3. Schedule social media. There is some debate on whether it is better to schedule or not. However, if you are busy and want to have a few tweets go out you can actually schedule some of your social media on sites like HootSuite. However, for facebook posts use facebook to schedule, not a 3rd party. For all other media it seems ok to use a 3rd party to schedule, but be mindful that on social media the whole point is to be social. So if you are scheduling everything and not interacting then that may not be the best either. 

4. Edit your pictures. Ok, so I'm guilty of this! I primarily use my iPhone for all pictures, which is ok, but first I need to remember to take more pictures and then edit them a little before posting them. If you don't have expensive programs like Photo Shop that's ok. A great site was recommended to us: PicMonkey. 

5. Consider what blogging platform you want to use. Basically, do you want to use Tumblr, Blogger, Wordpress, etc. From the conference, if you want to monetize it was highly suggested to use Wordpress.org where you self-host. This is something that I've been thinking so much about. When I first wrote that post at the end of November I wrote it on Wordpress. I didn't make an educated decision, then I switched to blogger in January and Hubby Jack did my design. I hate to say it, but months later I'm strongly considering moving back to Wordpress. Mainly because I didn't fully research the differences between the 2. There are pros and cons to both. Anyone have any opinions of why you like one vs. the other? The reason why I'm really feeling the push to switch to Wordpress Self Hosted is that you then have more control over your blog, when on blogger technically google owns your blog and could delete it at any time, however I think it is pretty rare that they do that and you can back up your blog frequently to avoid losing all your content. 

Obviously my blurbs are so little compared to the wealth of information received by attending the conference, which is why I recommend attending one if growing your blog really interests you. These are just a few of the things I've taken away. There is so much more that I'm sure will come as I review my notes and reflect on the weekend. All of these things cannot be done in a day. Just like with weight loss, take one thing at a time. Focus on one aspect of your blog that you'd like to improve and work on that. Don't overwhelm yourself. Easier said than done, I know!

Have you ever been to a blogging conference? What did you find most valuable about the experience? If you haven't attended a conference, what is the biggest piece of blogging advice you'd give to a newbie?

Fifth and Mae Giveaway!

Well everyone, I'm off to Bloggy Boot Camp! I'm excited to attend my first blogging conference, but more excited to meet some good blogging friends that I've gotten to know over the last couple months. I've only been blogging now about 5 1/2 months so I'm looking forward to learning new things and connecting with other bloggers. I often feel strange if I bring up the blog with my IRL friends. I don't talk about it much and very few people who actually know me read or know about this blog. So it will be nice to talk about blog things with people who get it! I'll be posting updates while at the conference on twitter and instagram.

I'm also excited that I'm going with a new accessory!

Michelle from Fifth and Mae is so sweet and she offered to send me these cute mint heart earrings! I just received them in the mail this week and I really like them. My sister was with me when I received the little package and her first thing she said to me was "I may be borrowing those!"

Fifth and Mae offers cute and quality jewelry for $10 or less. I've always been a fan of jewelry because you don't have to worry about the size! It is nice for a little reward too!

Do you want to win some jewelry? Well, you are in luck! Michelle is offering one lucky reader a $25 store credit to Fifth and Mae! 

All you need to do is enter on the Raffelcopter below and comment on this post sharing what piece of jewelry you'd buy. You can also earn some extra entries by tweeting about the giveaway and following Fifth and Mae on Facebook and Instagram. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*All winners will be verified

*Participants must be 18 years or older. No purchase necessary.

*Winner will be contacted via email within 48 hours after the giveaway ends. If no response is received within 48 hours a new winner will be chosen. I am not responsible for emails that go to spam. 

*For full terms and conditions please review the "Terms and Conditions" above on Raffelcopter

I received the earrings complimentary from Fifth and Mae for the purposes of review and the giveaway. All opinions are my own.