Well, I was excited to be contacted by a man who seemed genuinely nice. We exchanged messages, talked on the phone, and texted for almost 2 weeks. Then he asked me if I wanted to get together. Things looked pretty promising.
I agreed to the meeting, well really a first date. We planned something pretty low key. We both were from suburbs on the opposite side of Pittsburgh so we agreed to meet in Pittsburgh as a half-way point. He seemed like a legitimate and nice guy, but the online world can be a little sketchy. You really do never know with people, but I did take some recommended precautions. I read many of the suggestions on the various dating sites and formed my own little list of what was important to me.
Online dating: what you should do before a first date-
- Know the person's first and last name, then google them. Sure, yeah that is a little stalkerish, but you want to make sure someone is legitimate.
- Give a friend/family member the person's name and tell your friend/family member when and where you are meeting said person.
- Meet at a public place.
- Take your own transportation, don't drive with the person you've just met.
- Talk to the person on the phone before meeting. This one probably isn't a necessity, but nice to know they can carry on a conversation beforehand.
Maybe there is more, but for this first date that is what I did.
After having some great conversations I was really excited when he asked me out on the date. We agreed to meet at a little coffee shop and I was very nervous going. However, I didn't have my hopes up, but I was really hoping it went well after some of our great conversations on the phone.
When I got to the coffee shop he was already there. Then we met shaking hands. Yeah. That was my fault though. It is such a habit walking into the room, but he kind of went for a hug and I shook his hand. Real smooth. It was fine though and we had a great conversation. We actually sat at the coffee shop for about 2 1/2 hours. Things were going well and he asked me if I'd be interested in grabbing dinner with him. I was enjoying myself so I agreed.
Problem was that the area we were in was way packed. Most of the restaurants had huge (like 1.5 hour) wait times. So we agreed to walk around a bit and wander until we found a place. We came across this place neither of us had heard of and got a table. It wasn't until it was time to order that we realized it was essentially a buffet. Ok, let's just say that for an overweight girl a buffet situation isn't ideal on a first date. Maybe for some people it is fine, but I'm too self-conscious about going up and feeling like I'm loading up my plate. And I'm sure no one is really watching me, but in my mind I'm always thinking people are judging or wondering why the "fat girl" is getting more food and stuff like that. Ok, so maybe I have problems. But being nervous and then having it be a buffet, it was just a little awkward. I could tell he felt awkward too though.
Dinner was fine, the conversation was good and before I knew it I realized that this first date was about 4.5 hours long. Turns out we both parked at the same parking garage so we decided to walk back. I paid my ticket and then he did his and we went into the elevator and then immediately afterwards other people got on. So he ended up on one side and me on the other.
The other people got off before our floors, but when we got to his floor it got awkward real fast! He made a comment that he would have taken me to a nicer restaurant, I said it was fine (which it totally was!) and then said "it was nice to meet you." Now apparently when you say that it sort of implies that it was nice meeting, but no thanks. Oops. Well, he leaned in for a hug and that was fine and as we go to hug he manages to step on both of my feet. Seriously, the 2 of us were just an awkward mess in an elevator. In a parking garage. To cap it all off I somehow managed to say again "it was nice to meet you."
So, we had good conversation. Things must have been going well if we talked that long and then extended the date to dinner, but then we got in that elevator. But honestly, when we both wished each other good luck via messages with me thanking him again for dinner I wasn't all that disappointed. I guess that is a good sign if I wasn't too upset that no second date was planned, right?
In the end, my first date was ok. He was a really nice guy, but nothing came of it and that's fine. I'm pretty proud of myself that I put myself out there and got my feet wet into the world of online dating.
Well, that's my online dating update for now. I'm open to advice and suggestions! This dating stuff is tough work! Disney movies didn't prepare me for all this, haha!